Things have been dark, times I have felt lost.
Things are getting better, looking up I hope it stays that way, hope I don’t go back into the dark pit.
I’m hoping and crossing everything that this is the end that things are looking up.
Normal copyright Heather Sharpe 2021
What is normal? Normal does not exist.
What is normal for you might not be normal for some one else.
Why do people say say oh “just be normal” but what is normal?
Who are you to say what is my normal?
Who are you to tell me how to act?
What is your normal us not mine don’t tell me to be normal.
Getting better copyright 2021
I’m working on getting myself better, to finding the happy me.
To getting back to that person I used to be.
The one that laughed and smiled the on that was happy.
It’s not easy but I’ve done it before wearing a mask to hide my emotions is not what I want to do.
I’m going to get strong again and turn to face my demons so I can smile again.
quiet Copyright Heather Sharpe 2021
I just want peace and quiet, everything is loud, just two minites of peace and quiet, that’s all I ask, it that to much?
Some times the sounds get far to loud I just want to cover my ears to shut it all out.
People say oh grow, up get a grip, it’s just a bit of sound, if only they knew what sound does is it wrong to ask for some quiet?
The unknown copyright Heather Sharpe 2021
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel obviously it’s sad but is it sad, sad or angry sad just angry?
I don’t know how I’m meant to feel when some days I’m like my old self and and others something small sets me off.
This is unknown to me, I simply don’t know.
How am I meant to know when I’ve never been told this is how it’s meant to be, how I’m meant to feel.
I’m walking into the unknown with no one to guide me, but like everything else the unknown is when I’m the strongest.
I swear i will get back into a routine
My routine is all over the shop right now, but i swear i will get back to a routine, I’m thinking of making it 6pm for doing my blogs has thats a good time so im not rushing first thing.
i’m working alot on my Uni work at the moment which is also taking up alot of time also right now has we have assignments that need to be handed in.
I’m not complaning though has i really enjoy my course but I plan to start doing them soon after I finish my course work,
I’m enjoying doing my poems at the moment though so until I run out of ideas I might post them for the time being.
anyway this is a very quick one for now just to keep people updated.
2020 COPYRIGHT HEATHER SHARPE 2020
2020 started out has a high I was hopeful raised a glass, planned on the events I was going to do.
Then the light was bright, lots of ideas so many ideas we was going to do.
Start of the year I would take my neice into town useing her pram, a bag of nappies and a baby bottle.
Now at the end of the year she walks holding my hand, no longer needing nappies or useing a baby bottle, she holds her drink on her own.
A killer virus locked us up people have lost their lives, taking my dad’s life.
Cancer the killer, covid more than happy to help. In other cases though covid was more than happy to shoot the gun.
2020 took so much, 2021 all I ask is you give something back.
Trying to find answers copyright 2021 Heather Sharpe
Trying to find the answers to why you treated me the way you did, my head just won’t stop spinning thinking of the things you did.
I try and lock you away the memories we made are tarnished and I want to remember the good ones but it’s so hard.
I feel so angry, so hurt even after all these years.
My mind won’t stop spinning playing over and over what you did and how it hurt.
I want to write happy thing about out memories but every time I try the anger rises.
I want to hate you, I want to hate you so much but I can’t.
I’ll lock you away like Pandoras box but I will keep hope out of it because after all the hurt I do have hope.
I have people who I trust, who I love and that’s all I need.
What is the best time to post?
OK so quick question… When I started doing this blog I started posting at 9am but lately I’ve been thinking what is the best time to post my blogs/poems/random ramblings etc?
Is it early in the morning, afternoon, evening?
I’m still trying to work this bloging thing out I will get the hang of it, it will just take me a while but I will get there.
I don’t want this to be all “me blog” I want it to be a US blog.
2021 picking up where 2020 left off. HEATHER LOUISE SHARPE COPYRIGHT 2021
2021 will be better, they said, 2021 things will get back to normal they said.
In reality nothing has changed everything is the same.
I just want to scream to shout, feeling like I’m in a bubble that just won’t pop.
Being told how I should feel, what I should think, how I should behave.
The truth is you don’t get to tell me how to feel, what to think how to act. You don’t get to because you don’t know what goes on in my brain how it works.
Yes I am able to do some things but that doesn’t mean I can do everything.
What I find so condescending is when people say “but you can…there is no such word has can’t, well have you just tried?”
Well no of corse not Karan… Dont you think I’ve not tried, has it ever crossed your mind that I’m tired, I no more fight left.
Then have people question my friendships because they don’t fit their norms, because they are LGBT, well I’ve news for you Ken they are worth 100 of you.
Then to say I’m less because of my disability, my own sexulity how I need to pull my finger out, how I should hide my disability it’s invisible anyway, how if I don’t tell any one no one will know, just shhhh.
Well, sorry to disappoint, sorry for not taking your advice, sorry for not allowing myself to be gaslit but you, for being stubborn.
I hadn’t expected much from 2021 but I thought it would be more.
Heather's adventures 